ice drop, para maiba
dude, kalungkot diba? ang malaman na kahit anong pagpigil pa ang gawin ko, tiny old me, hinding hindi mananatiling ganto ang buhay. hindi palaging ganyan, di palaging ganun. gets mo naman ang sinasabi ko diba? chorva. everything changes, ika nga. ultimong kuko ko hahaba at hahaba din. leche. katamad kayang maggupit ng kuko. anyway, it's a sad reality--na yung kinalakhan mong chorva hindi habambuhay na ganun. (pardon my 'chorva', take it as my variables; words for things i can't quite describe or things i can't quite put into words other than, well chorva, hehe) my mom's work for example. i never imagined her not being in that Center. i always assumed that's what she liked to do. she's very good at it. they were all good, there in that Center. and i always liked going to her office; the smell of caffiene and the photocopying machine. heaven. well for me that is. ewan. kasama na rin kasi yun sa childhood ko, twing susunduin si mama sa opis o kaya twing christmas party at kalaro ko yung mga anak ng officemates ng nanay ko, na madalas ay kasama din sa office outings. pero nagbago na. nagdalaga at nagbinata na yung mga anak ng mga ka-opisina ni mama. ngayon pa-post-post na lang ng mga daring pics sa friendster kasama ang mga boypren. astig. going back to my mother. akala ko dun na sya forever. masaya at fullfilled. eh hinde. (saka ko na ikkwento, processing palang kasi eh, nangyayari palang, ya know) i have nothing against that, naa-amaze lang ako how different the people you know can become. another example? picture this: i entered college with a set goal. a definite plan. only to know that it will take me a looooong time(2 years tops=convert to 4 semesters of free-floating along general courses) to realize what i really REALLY want in life. who cares to be called Engineer Chorva? eh what if hindi ako dun masaya? mapipilit ba nila ako na pumasa (at the least)?! so i made a mistake in choosing my course, but who doesn't? we all have a way in dealing with things like this. yung iba nakiki-ride, kahit di gusto basta maka-tapos lang. yung iba naman pinipilit gustohin yung kinuha nya kahit sukangsuka na. at yung iba, na tulad ko, di natatahimik. pag passion na ang pinag-uusapan mahirap makipaglaban. mahirap itago kung ano yung talagang gusto mo. powerful pare. dito eeksena si "change". akala mo all of a sudden hihirit siya ng New You. pero mali ka pala. Real You pala yun. yung inaakala mong pagbabago, marahil pagka-totoo lang pala yun talaga. change is a good thing. always for the better. ows. di nga. i refuse to believe that. ito ang ididikit ko sa kukote ko: hindi yan pagbabago per se. actually, parte na yan ng tao na nag-aabang lang na magpakita. anjan yan sa loob ng bawat isa, naghihintay ng tamang oras, ng tamang tiyempo. bumebuwelo ba. tapos pag anjan na yung timing na hinihintay ng so-called "change" na yan, big time. yun bang mamamahay ka all over again. nakakapanibago. BAGO. pero hindi bago eh. yung nga ang sinasabi ko, one way or another dati mo pa ginusto o inisip itong chorvang ito. walangya naman, hirap i-eksplika. titigil na ko, baka mabato pa ko ng kamatis. masasabi ko lang... explore. tignan mo ko ngayon, natataranta, too late kasi dumating ang pagbabagong hinintay ko. i didn'tknow there were so much more in store.
posted by kroketas @ 23:17
